its random. I googled my name, and its not my blog that pops up.
its someone's else blog that has my name in it.
weird, isn't it?
how long haven't i been in here. a year plus? 
suddenly blogging is so my style. haha.
everything has changed. people around me..
started to get busier than ever.
school is starting 1st of Aug. and here i am..emotionally not moving on.
not in the right mind set. just feels that my life is so plain.
 

had a night in zouk with him.
with the rest of our colleagues.
was drinking. rather making him drink.
make him drink neat de. then pour mixer for him again.
woots. and 2 flaming drinks.

KO. as expected.
he was damn high. whatever we asked him to do, he will.
but he just wouldnt let us go back home. ==
we gotta work. reach office like 8.30am
not like him, got half day leave and able to go office whatever time he likes.
left there at 2 plus. zz
he just KO in the cab. and puked.
lucky theres plastic bag from cab uncle. (:

but today i asked him, if he remember what happened last night.
he say not so sure. =/
aihs.

alright!!
gave all my might. and i got what i predicted previously.
yes. he knew that i liked him. but he just kept mum about it.
he said that if he was me, he will keep mum about it since he knew tt nothing is going to happen.
yeah. maybe true. but he said. be friends for the time being.
since we still do not know each other that well.
din wanna think about it too much. all i know that he knows how i feel.
and im not on pretense anymore. which makes me feel great. without to keep anything from him.
because at same time, he doesnt wanna be in a relationship yet. which i knew earlier.

so right now, i felt depressed. but also felt relaxed.
because at least i knew what hes thinking. i dont have to crack my brain to think about what hes thinking. (:
both good news and bad news. HA! what a great Vday present i had.

dint know that someone would be still looking at my blog. ==
aihs. but u know anyway. HA! doesnt matter.

im here just to fa xie. cause i dont think i could continue jogging with my leg cramp every other min i jog.
i think i should just cut off all contacts till he leave.
i really cannot tolerate myself talking to a wall anymore.
guess i should really move on.
if he have feelings for me, i should have felt it.
but i feel nothing up till now.
i felt so stupid. so dumb. making myself fall into such a pit.
GOD! save me all these trouble could u?!
i had ENOUGH! of all these shitty stuffs.
im going to break down soon with all these shits and the stress in office.

every time my boss went pass, i would worry so much that i made a mistake again.
its not really feeling very nice.
argh!!!!!!!!

woahs! its been almost a year that i hadnt been blogging.
its just boring during new year. other than gambling, its still catching up of relatives.
just finished dinner. i guess i had gained a few kg over these few days. zzz
guess i had to go running in order to get those fats away from me asap.

had been thinking through. what should i do.
go ahead or give up.
hard decision to make.
but the reaction i received was to ask me give up.
and when we went out the other time, what i felt is truly happiness.
so, what is the relationship between us? i really ponders.

its so tiring just wondering what is he thinking.
maybe he doesnt even care. maybe he has someone else.
maybe he just treat me as a fellow colleage/friend.
how i wish he could just tell me something to get rid of all these maybes.

GOD! Help me out here, will ya?

IF! really there is something he feels for me, will he say anything?
or will he just shuddup and end up in Shenzhen for the next 3-5 yrs?
GOSH! don wish to think about all these.

i thought that i had decided not to tell him anything about how i feel.
but as times goes by, i feel like telling him everything just to relieve myself and also giving myself a chance.
but im afraid things might get awkward between us. zz

alright, so if he still remember that i still wanna go cycling for the weekend before he flys off.
then i shall tell him. hmm..alright maybe...2 chances. =.=
1 is we go cycling. other 1 is we go for our ice cream treat.
see if he remembers. if not, i guess theres nth much i could do if he don even remember that i wanna go cycling or have ice cream.
this is so frustrating. ><

Im so excited!!
I am going to go Korea on the 16 March!!! ><
its going to be a 8 days trip!! totally cant wait to go there!!

its been a while since i last blog.
nothing much. spent a lot for new year. therefore, this month must scrimp like crazy.
dont like that. )):
theres going to be a chalet on april 6-8.
not sure if i am going.
go le, i think every one like quite unfamiliar.
feel so weird instead.
hesitating whether to go anot.

next wed, they are going to zouk.
dont quite feel like going. dont quite like zouk.
first impression not good. ):
but zy like it there. haas.
and he dared not reply Sarah. LOL.
hes gonna get it!
anyway, i think hes going in army too. this year i guess.
aww, im gonna miss his nonsense.
but i hope he can learn to be a more mature guy. alright Zy!? ((:

i need to find a more stable job. said so by my parents.
aihs. yah, job opportunities are more right now.
but which jobs suits me? )):
*ponders

here to clear up the spiderweb.
really dont know what to update. haas.

oh yar. yesterday went clubbing at butter.
quite enjoyable. at least better than the first time.
i guess its because its only us 4 gurls. ((:
more approachable than with terry who went with us the first time.
lols. met this guy. actions were adorable.
but still dint manage to take a look at his face. >.<
what a pity.
but the 3 babes said hes a great catch.
hes quite the gentleman. help me block ppl. ((:
*thinks back* *giggles*
hes just adorable i guess. ((:

alright, i dont know what other interesting things to update.
so tts all for now! ciaos!

P.S. i LOVE James and Butter!! wOoHoo!!

You come to love not by finding the perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

simple minded.
sensitive.
blur.
a happy person now.
bites people. =P
Fav. Quote.
sMiLe! :))
last but not least.
remember 15 July.

a person whom love me.

learn to play piano.

have a stable and more income.

buy a laptop for my mum.

have a desktop together with a TV.

have a new closet.

a more tanned ME. :))

have each different kind of perfume.

grow my hair longer.

a comfy heels that dont cut me.

different kind of design for watches.

SLIM DOWN!!

more crazy that present me.

be able to survive with metal bow.

♥Charmaine
♥Chris(JiaWei)
♥Chu Yun
♥Irvin
♥Joey
♥Penny
♥Qiu Tin
♥Vennon
♥Yasmin
♥Yen Leng


August 2008
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